The past few months, God has been working on my heart and revealing some deeply rooted struggles. My eyes were opened to my constant need for perfection. I had become so busy in striving for perfection, and it always seemed as though I was grasping at thin air.
The constant cleaning.
The constant worrying about the kids behavior if we were out.
The constant worrying about if I said the right thing.
I started to see that the problem that was rooted underneath my striving for perfection was this person seeking approval from others. I thought that if I did everything right, then I would be loved and I would be looked at as a "good Christian."
When God started to reveal this truth to me, I knew it was time to dig deep and uproot it all.
The thing about uprooting the weeds in our life is that it is a constant and ongoing thing.
Recently, I was thinking more about this as I was preparing our spring garden. I had started a winter garden with high hopes, but then the weeds started to shoot up. With the first few, I would carefully pull them, but then after more came, I just thought "well it is just a few weeds." This mindset went on until there I was, knees sinking into the worn ground, with dirty hands as I dug out all the weeds of winter.
As I turned the soil, and pulled out every last weed, I thought about this weed of seeking perfection in my own life. When I am not keeping my eyes on God, these weeds can overtake my life. They get bigger and bigger until they cloud everything else out. But when I am centered on God, He helps me pull them out, and there is a fresh space ready to be planted.
I spent this past winter digging out a lot of weeds- my need for perfection, for control, for approval. They were all intertwined and causing other areas of my life to be held back. I know the weeds will try to come back because they always do, but this time, I am ready to attack them.
It is now spring, and I am choosing to let go of my need for control and see what He is ready to plant. I am praying for God to grow what He wants, in His timing. It is a constant process, surrendering, but by God's help I will continue with the constant hope of the fruits that He will produce.
KERI SNYDER is the writer at Living In This Season and lives in South Carolina with her husband and three children. She is passionate about women finding the true joy in every season of life. Connect with her on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.